Video 10 –
The Wording

When to use what kind of language.

The words you use can either make it easier or more difficult to go through the process.

Learn what words to use when — and why these words work.

Discover how voice tone also makes a difference.



  • Mark

    June 29, 2014

    Has it been considered at all to Invite the “I” and the ‘Sensation’ to “Relax into and BECOME the Fullness of Awareness” (and Vice Versa)? [“BE, come; come and, BE!:)”, Become (Invitation to Manifest and Change implicit in the Word/Phrasing)].

    Oxford Dictionary definition:
    ‘Become’ (Verb); ‘Begin to BE’, ‘Grow to BE’, ‘Develop INto’

    Old English becuman ‘come to a place, come (to BE or do something)’ (see be-, come), of Germanic origin; related to Dutch bekomen and German bekommen ‘get, receive’.

    • Connirae

      June 30, 2014

      An interesting possibility, Mark. Since it occurs to you, I wonder if that wording might work better for you? And possibly some others as well. For me I notice that when I use the word “become” there’s a little efforting that creeps into it. I think I have to become something that I’m not already. So that takes a little work.
      My intention with the wording “relax AS the fullness of Awareness” is going for the least effortful thing. It’s a return to experiencing our original nature. To that which we already are, as you also mentioned in your comments.
      But of course it always comes down to what invokes the experience in the simplest and most direct way for someone. And we’re all unique in how we experience a word.
      Throughout the training I shift wordings from time-to-time, in order to allow people to find the wording that they respond to best. (And that can change from moment-to-moment.) There are the 3 main wordings in the handout, which include the 3 main directions of how people experience integration (I -> Awareness; Awareness -> i; I=Awareness). I notice when I work with people over time that I shift wording in additional ways, depending upon how I hear them using the method, and what I’m guessing will invite an increasingly effortless and fully experienced process, given where they are now.

  • Mark

    July 3, 2014

    Thanks Connirae, I did jump the gun a little in my enthusiasm. After running through the wordings and process more thoroughly I found the same thing in my experience. That ‘Becoming’ was a too abrupt and imposing a structure, and that ‘relaxing into’ was an easier and less effortful method. It has been almost 24 years since I was at Winter Park with you for my Practitioner training and my delight at ‘Participating’ with you again and with such a profound pattern, well my excitement got the better of me. I really enjoyed training with the NLP Comprehensive team, which combined with the beauty of the Rocky Mountains made it one of the Key experiences of my life. Thank you for that, and thank you for bringing the Wholeness Process to those of us who would find it difficult to travel to the northern hemisphere to participate.

    • Connirae

      July 10, 2014

      Thanks for your note, Mark! Your enthusiasm is much appreciated.:)I’m so glad that this program is making the Wholeness method(s) doable for people in every hemisphere and on every continent who are interested.

  • Rob Matula

    May 7, 2015

    Hi Connirae,

    when working on a particular issue, I noticed the sensation I felt from the issue, and then asked who is the I that is perceiving the sensation.
    I found in doing this that the perceiver seemed to be associated with some “part” or emotional state (like a parental state), then I asked for the I that was perceiving the first I and I had another I come up that seemed calmer and located slightly higher than the previous I.

    Are these I-states typically associated with some kind of emotion?

    • Connirae

      May 8, 2015

      Hi Rob, The ‘i’s can be associated with an emotional state, but aren’t always. The first layers of ‘i’ are more likely to have an emotional state with them. Then if you go on to find the next layers of ‘i’ these are more likely to be more neutral, just like you experienced. I think of each ‘i’ as being a cluster of beliefs/rules/and/or strategies of coping. And the nice thing is we don’t need to know what they are for them to be dissolved and transformed in what is usually experienced as a very gentle way. It’s helpful to just notice/acknowledge the emotions that arise when they do. Sometimes during the integration phase, past memories emerge as well. If we stay in the experience of awareness at the same time this happens,it all just flows through and transforms.

The Wholeness Process / Unit B / Video 10 – The Wording