Video 6 –
The Basic Process

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Download and print this pdf document to guide you through the process.

In this segment...

Watch Connirae guide a volunteer in the basic Wholeness Process with a life issue — something that "pushes his buttons." This first time through begins to lay the foundation for using it in an increasingly impactful way, as you proceed through the training.

When we use the Wholeness Process with life issues, we become more resourceful in that life situation. Equally significant, we are using this life issue as a way to transform the structure of our psyche. We can accurately describe this as gradually melting away our “ego.”

The experience Constantine was working with turned out to be a little more complex than some. However, Connirae uses the process in a simple way to show you how you can use the process with almost any issue.

Additional Info

This demonstration was not particularly "dramatic" in how it unfolded. Using the Wholeness Process is sometimes quite subtle/undramatic, and other times it can be fairly dramatic. For example someone might experience a sudden strong flow of warmth, light or vibration through the body, and/or throughout space in and outside of the physical body, etc.

Whether the experience itself is simple or dramatic doesn't really matter. What makes a difference is what remains after the experience of using the process, and that tends to be an opening to "ordinariness." However it is an “extra-ordinary” ordinariness. Feeling oneself as “just peaceful presence” is in one sense ordinary, and in another sense quite extraordinary.

In this demonstration, after making several shifts Constantine describes his experience as like "muscles that were tight, and then stretched out — that's the feeling." He also said that now "I'm sitting down, talking to you and the class." The reactivity he had started with was no longer there — now he was "just present."

For Constantine, when he tested this by thinking of the original situation, another response (including tension) emerged. This would be the next piece to work with, using the Wholeness Process. When we do this with our own life issues, we gradually and surely increase our natural ease and presence in even "complex" situations.

Comments?

22 Comments

  • Anand Rao

    February 26, 2014

    Question (are we allowed to ask questions here?) – if so, from the first video series, I’d like to work with my “forcing I” first, as aware this is often present when I do change work with myself. The question is that it feels like the forcing is coming from outside (up and to the right of the of my face about 9″ to a foot in front of me, when I look at it, however when I am (unconsciously, doing the forcing, I guess it’s embodied – 1st person) .. In order to do the process above, do I do it with the ‘I’ as if it’s outside of me, and I am witnessing it, or do I take it on as if I am the one doing the forcing and then find the location of the ‘I’. (I hope that makes sense!) Anand

  • Connirae

    February 28, 2014

    Hummm. For most people this question won’t even arise. If that’s the case for you, it will probably work best not to even think about it – just to follow the steps of the process in the simplest way possible.
    And Anand, because the question does arise for you, I’m going to suggest that you explore and do it in whatever way feels the most natural and effortless, and leads to a relaxing, melting or dissolving. If we were in an “in person” training we could sort this out a little more on the spot in a way that is experiential and not conceptual. The non-verbals would help. But I think the above will work, and also that your answer is likely to become clearer as you explore more and listen to more of the training. I do appreciate the question.

  • Ralph Koebler

    March 13, 2014

    My general feedback for the wholeness process workshop so far: Wonderful, thanks Connirae, especially for the Reclaiming of Inner Authority. Thanks also for this communication comment forum, it is wonderful to connect in these ways.

    As i am preparing myself to work with clients here in Vienna i am working on german translation of the wording (for my private use in counseling). If anybody else is in german speaking country trying to bring it in practice i’d like to connect: ralph.koebler@ecruiting.at

  • Sandra Nash

    April 6, 2014

    I am unable to download and print the handout. I have the Apple OSX Version 10.9.2 Is there another way to obtain the handout?

    • Connirae

      April 6, 2014

      Hi Sandra, Duff here.

      When you click the link to download, what happens? Do you receive an error message?

      I’m also on Mac and it simply downloads the PDF file to my downloads folder, where I can open and print it.

      ~Duff

  • Martin McCague

    April 30, 2014

    For this I instinctively used the Awareness/Dissolving meditation (©1996, This is on my “Healing Meditations” audio set, and was an outgrowth from exploring the Aligning Perceptual Positions work).
    Hi Connirae/Duff,
    Would you provide a link to the above product which is mentioned in the notes? I couldn’t find it for sale anywhere.
    Thanks,
    Martin.

  • Fabrizio Castello

    October 13, 2014

    English is not my native language. I don’t understand why you use the word fullness in the phrase : “Does the sensation of this ‘I’ welcome the invitation to open and relax as the fullness of Awareness?”. Awarness feels empty because it’s the absence of all objects.

    • Connirae

      October 16, 2014

      This is a great question, Fabrizio, and I think useful in any language! I don’t actually experience “Awareness” as feeling empty. And perhaps as you begin sensing Awareness, you may begin to sense, even though you aren’t focusing on any particular object(s), you may begin to sense a kind of “presence” all around and everywhere simultaneously. We are sensing, registering, this capacity to notice, that is always present. We could call it “consciousness” that is always present, everywhere, simultaneously. So that’s why I use the word “fullness” of Awareness. To help people get that it’s this “presence” we are experiencing as, rather than an “absence”. Perhaps Awareness is a bit like the air that’s all around us, whether or not there is an object in the air. Or it’s like the vast water in the ocean, that’s present “everywhere.” There is a vast “field” of air (or water) that is present, even before something flies or swims through it. These analogies aren’t perfect, but maybe they offer something close? Let me know if this makes sense. And even if it doesn’t fully make sense at this point in the process, it’s likely to make more sense as you explore the process in your experience. –Best to you! Connirae

  • Fabrizio Castello

    October 17, 2014

    With empty I don’t mean I feel empty but what I mean is that there is a presence around everything and inside everything and these presence feels empty like a infinite space in all direction-
    I got what you mean with fullness.
    Best to you! Fabrizio

    • Connirae

      October 18, 2014

      Oh, thank you for clarifying your experience. That’s a lovely description.:)

  • Danny Sherwood

    December 3, 2014

    I went to two two-hour workshops here in the UK based on the Wholeness Process, and found them really eye-opening. I located parts of me that I managed to open out into awareness, and learned more about myself, and the process seemed to match with what I was experiencing in other areas of life.

    I’ve been working through the video course, and unfortunately I’m not finding that I get very much out of it. Outside of the workshop, I’m not really managing to locate feelings and “I”s in space – there just seems to be thoughts running around with no location, and physical feelings (like an uncomfortable shoulder) that are more present.

    I was just wondering if you had any suggestions, or if maybe the video version just isn’t effective for everyone?

    Thanks
    Danny

  • Connirae

    December 3, 2014

    Danny, thank you for sharing your experience. I’m glad you found the in-person training “eye-opening” and useful. Regarding your question – I think that live trainings are an easier format for most people to “get” this material. In the live trainings the trainer or coach can help you with any questions on the spot, and that helps. When I’m training I orient the training to exactly the people who are in the room, and it’s always different. Things come up in a different order, etc.
    However, my guess is that if you continue with the video training, you will find it helpful. It will go beyond things that you could have learned in 4 hours of live training. And it is likely to deepen the experience of some thing you learned in that 4 hours.
    I notice when I do client work, if the person has already gone through this video training, it saves me a LOT of time in guiding them effectively through the process, because a lot of groundwork has been laid.
    One of the keys to the video training being effective is that you actually go through it. Some people stop early. The tips that make things work more easily and effectively for you may come later in this version of the training. So my main tip is to continue and find out what happens. I’m guessing you’ll start being able to locate the ‘i’. You might need the question asked a bit differently, for example, “Where is the perceiving (of this body sensation) happening from?”. Or you may need to just guess, and go with the first location that comes to mind. You may need to be OK with the fact that the ‘i’ is often quite insubstantial, and sometimes completely insubstantial. It may be nothing more than the sense of empty space in a certain location. And yet if this is what occurred to you when you asked ‘Where is the perceiving happening from?”, then when you invite the integration, something is likely to happen.
    Another tip: Because of your background with a brief live training, you may have created an expectation for how it “ought to go” when you do the process. This changes everything, and how to deal with this will be discussed later in this video training.
    One more tip – It may be worth considering some individual coaching with the method, AFTER you’ve finished the online course. Or you may have what you need/want at that point. Best Wishes!

  • Natalie Hall

    February 4, 2016

    Hi before I signed up for this online course I watched your explanation and demonstration online Connirae, I had a new Coaching Client fly over from Spain to the UK and I had facilitated and worked with his Timeline, his presnt reality had been outside himself and after that section concluded, I used my intuition and just simply said where is your ‘I’? He said here and pointed to his forehead and I hadn’t remembered your words exactly and said would you like to invite relaxation and the fullness of awareness to open and expand the I? Within one minute he had an abreaction and exclaimed “I am the light”, it was very powerful, his energy expanded and filled the room engulfing me, I got goosepimples and the hairs on my ars stood on end, a wonderful experience he was truly happy with. I then signed up. So thank you from my heart and Hi 🙂 x

  • Natalie Hall

    February 4, 2016

    arms not ars! typo!!

    • Connirae

      February 4, 2016

      Natalie, can you tell me where you’re seeing the typo? The comment is to Video 6, but I’m not seeing either “arms” or “ars” anywhere on that page. Thanks in advance. Connirae

      • Thomas Zelenz

        June 16, 2016

        (The typo she is referring to is in her comment, “I got goosepimples and the hairs on my ars stood on end” a useful thing to clarify. 🙂 )

  • Alistair Horscroft

    May 1, 2016

    I felt that the elicitation wasn’t clear for Constantine and as such the process became a little clunky. At the end when the future pace was attempted, the instruction given caused him to re-associate with the initial problem state. If however the new ‘enlightened state’ had been used as the resource through which it was suggested he experience the initial problem stimulus he would have communicated a more complete and resolved experience.

    I would also comment (sorry !) that I feel the essence of this technique is quite brilliant (with a number of profound distinctions) but perhaps too much ‘integration’ from NLP and psychotherapy is being used. From a ‘spiritual’ perspective just being aware of location of I and dissolving/expanding that into awareness without the need to integrate the problem state would seem to be of more benefit. Or more directly eliciting states of separation and processing those through the technique.

    The release technique/sedona method has some similarities and I believe that they don’t get the stated outcomes because they are always searching for the next ’emotion, story, sensation etc’ to release, and this is never ending.

    There is some ‘thing’ that Ramana Maharshi and Nisagedatta et al ‘focused’ on that allowed the ending of the continual quest as it where…. for Maharshi it wasn’t focusing on ‘who am I’ that was just a guide he gave to students but was not the process he himself used to become ‘enlightened’. Just as the Buddha did not use ‘moderation’ to become enlightened. Quite the opposite in fact.

    Anyway, I am enjoying this…. it has real value, thank you. (and Heart Of The Mind is still my favourite NLP book, so thanks for that as well.)

    • Connirae

      May 9, 2016

      Hi Alaidair, Yes, I agree this first demo was a bit “clunky”. Almost all the live trainings begin with a simpler and more straight-forward first demo than this one. A simple demo does create a more straight-forward “entry” to the process. If you’d like to have this, I’m going to suggest several sources. One is the second demo in this online training (the demonstration of the meditation format). A second is the Wholeness individual client session (a DVD download). Many people find that the download puts together all of the Day 1 teachings quite nicely.
      Now to respond to your other comments…
      I’m assuming you have NLP background since you used the word “future pace”. With the Wholeness work, we aren’t really doing a “future pace” (I think I talk about this later on in this training). We aren’t attempting to “take a resource state” and “bring it into a problem situation,” with the goal of “making things different.” You’ll notice I use different language. With the Wholeness work, what we are doing in this step is just “finding out how things are now.” Oftentimes things are completely different and more resourceful. (In this case it CAN have the impact of a future pace, but that’s not our goal.) However, sometimes there is little change. And with the Wholeness work we don’t have a judgment about one being better than the other. It isn’t. It just tells us what is happening. And if we are true to what is actually happening, this is the important first step. So I intentionally don’t tell the person to “use the “enlightened state” as a filter through which to experience the situation. That would be a subtle coersion/forcing of the system, and wouldn’t lead to what we might call a true “awakening” or enlightenment. So this is very important to understand, and I appreciate your bringing up this point. The goal was not to “attempt a future pace”.
      As you noted, Constantine described that he still experienced challenge/difficulty. However, if you review the session, you can see/hear that both his verbal description and his nonverbals are different. Noticing this difference is also really important, when doing the Wholeness work. When we work with any issue in our life, we begin by working with whatever we experience as the difficulty. If the work was good, that aspect might be partly or completely cleared up, yet it might reveal another “layer” or aspect that also is part of the “problem configuration.”
      If our goal was to impose a feeling of “resourcefulness” on the situation, we wouldn’t have the chance to notice this second layer. We would have just masked it.
      I hope this helps clarify how the Wholeness Work works. We aren’t really trying to “integrate the enlightened state into the problem state.” We have integrated one chain of ‘i’s only, and are using this step as a check, to find out where we stand. We can notice if things have changed but we still have more to work with. Or we might notice we are now “clear” regarding this situation.
      This way we are using life contexts as a “teacher”, to know what can be next for us.
      There ARE times when it’s useful to leave off that last step, and that is among the many subtleties that are woven into the advanced training days.
      RE: this issue of getting caught in a never-ending search for the next thing to “release” or integrate.
      This is something that I bring in at either Day 2 or later on in the live trainings. This is when I teach the “stages of the practice”, i.e. how the practice can usefully evolve over time. When people are just learning the method, they aren’t usually doing this yet. If/when it emerges, we deal with this “continual quest” issue that at some point becomes an obstacle for most of us.

  • Tore Svartjung

    June 23, 2016

    Looking at the video, I’m also figuring things out and talking to my wife. It’s a great analogy of life. I find myself noticing different selves which wants different things. One thing I’ve noticed while watching, is that when releasing an I that is focused on attaining things and making sure things happening, I get a great relaxation. My head almost falls into my lap. The shoulders are relaxing quite a bit.

    I find that I’m much more into the I/self-perspective when doing following this video. I’m a bit stuck in a perspective of “making it/understanding it”or “looking for something that isn’t there in this moment” and also “showing that I understand” which is part of writing this comment.

    Appreciation shows up in how gently you keep coming back to a non-judging space.

    A question that arises is, how does this all connect to core states?

  • Ora Or- Semo

    August 29, 2016

    Hi CONNIRAE,
    How can I get the DVD download, you mention here in your answer to Alistair Horscorft, concerning the wholeness individual process ?
    Thanks,
    Ora

The Wholeness Process / Unit B / Video 6 – The Basic Process