Video 7 –
The Steps in Brief

Preparing to do the process yourself.

Connirae “demonstrates with herself” to show you how to go through each step of the exercise. She explains when and how to find a second, third, or more layers of ‘I’. At the end she explains how this process includes both “dissolving the ego” and “intimacy with the 10,000 things.”



  • Ahmad El-Behery

    March 23, 2014

    Hi there
    do we get a copy of the handouts? Any web-link for them?
    Thanks in advance

    • Connirae

      April 5, 2014

      Hi Ahmad, Susan is right. The handouts are all included for you, and they are with each demonstration. (So Video 6 includes the handout of the basic method, since that’s the video with the demonstration.) The general handouts are at the very end of the program.

  • Susan Seifert

    March 25, 2014

    Ahmad – I believe the handout she’s using in this video is the one you can download from the previous video.

  • Susan Seifert

    March 25, 2014


    Question – I notice multiple layers of ‘i’ in each moment of the exercise. For instance, as soon as I locate the first layer of ‘i’ I’m aware of a deeper perceiver or reference point ‘i’. In other words, each ‘i’ is experienced as an object with a simultaneous perceiver as the subject. So for whichever ‘i’ is located, my immediate reaction is ‘Whoa, wait a minute. That can’t be it because that too is something I’m experiencing.’ The ultimate subject ‘i’ is absolutely not locatable. The best I can do is a kind of compromise: ‘Ok, this (set of sensations/location) is the ‘i’ connected with this issue (original presenting set of sensations). For now.’ I can do the process using that as the ‘i’ and have some sort of opening and dissolving. But it’s clear that those sensations/location are not an ‘i’ because they too are objects. I don’t know if I’m expressing this clearly or not.

    Also, most frequently the ‘i’ has several locations/sensations at once.

  • David Stevens

    April 18, 2014

    I’m noticing something similar. If I ask the question “where is the I that perceives the (sensations that come with the “issue”)” it’s either a different set of kinaesthetic sensations, in which case it’s not a perceiver, but something else perceived, or the “issue sensations” are a perception in an amorphous field (especially if I have my eyes closed), or the perceiver is in the perception (so who’s perceiving _that_?, well I guess I’m back to the “amorphous field” again).
    (And I’m aware of the irony of having to use the word “I” to talk about this).
    I’m going to go back and rewatch the earlier video that draws out the I/ego distinction and see if I can make any more sense of it in my experience, and maybe let it sit a day or two to see if the idea “solidifies”.

  • Luke McDonald

    July 2, 2014

    I just keep experiencing the “I ” as my eyes, eg I’m seeing the colour and dimensions of the sub modalities of the initial feeling, I haven’t had any feelings of perceptions outside of my body etc, always just seeing it with my eyes closed so no real other “I” to integrate. does this make sense? Am I missing something?

  • Alex Waller

    July 6, 2014

    Hi Connirae
    I also have a similar experience and wonder am I actually finding the “i”? So far, I have no trouble finding an issues Shape, and size,and sensation quality but when I ask where is the I that perceives this, it always seems to be an area surrounding my eyes. It does seem to dissolve to a degree but I’ve had no success dissolving the original sensation. It would be great to hear more about finding the I. I know its a simple concept but I’ve found it a bit like trying to remember a dream that’s fast slipping away (I hope that makes sense1)
    Also,I’m wondering about the language patterns when doing this with oneself. For example: “Now notice what happens when the fullness of Awareness… is invited to experience itself in and as the sensation” Should the wording remain te same when saying this to yourself?

    • Connirae

      July 10, 2014

      Hi Alex, It sounds like you are doing some very useful exploring.
      RE: are you finding the ‘i’? Probably you are. Since you say an area surrounding your eyes is what comes to mind each time (so far), it can be helpful to notice a little more specifically where the location is. It’s essentially never going to be an exact match for any physical structure. (such as the eyes, or the heart, or anything else.) And it helps to notice the difference. Perhaps it’s a little larger than the eyes, or a little smaller. It might be more in the right eye than the left, or vice versa. It might be a little to the left of each eye, or a little behind or in front. Noticing the subtle difference in location from the physical structure helps you to better access the ‘i’, and to sense its sensation quality. All of this sets the stage for the dissolving to then happen more easily and completely.
      Since the original sensation isn’t dissolving yet, you most likely need to find at least one more layer of ‘i’. And possibly a response. You’ll learn more about finding these in some of the later demos and discussion, so I’m going to encourage you to keep going and find out what happens as you include this.
      About the wording of the questions: Once you’ve read the wording a few times, and you understand in your experience what’s being asked, if you’d like, you can shorten the wording when you are guiding yourself. Notice what results in the most effortless and fullest experience of dissolving. Try it out differently. Once you’ve done the process enough, you may not need to use words at all. Your being will know what to do and it will happen increasingly effortlessly and wordlessly.
      The words are to invite a very specific experience. Once that is understood the words aren’t always necessary. But don’t rush to that phase. Use the words as long as they are helpful in inviting the experience. This is likely to be for a while.

  • Alex Waller

    July 12, 2014

    Hi Connirae,
    Thank you for replying, I will follow your advice.

  • Samantha Kifer

    July 17, 2014

    I wanted to comment about what I see a few people noticing (namely Susan and David): that when they find the first “I” there is always another perceiver “I” watching that first “I”, and you could theoretically continue this process forever (ex: you could connect with the “I” perceiving the “I” perceiving the “I” perceiving the “I” that perceives the original sensation, etc…). What I just realized that was helpful for me was to make the distinction that while you will always be perceiving the “I’s”, are you perceiving the “I’s” from a more expanded place (i.e. from the fullness of Awareness), or are you perceiving them from a more contracted/limited place (i.e. another “I”)?

    I let go of the idea of needing to work with the outermost layer of “I” (because I don’t think you can ever really get there), and I decided to just work on dissolving the “I” layer connected with the sensation or issue being addressed. Once this “I” dissolved, than any other layers of “I” beneath that one were now being perceived from the fuller place of expanded awareness. If I could have focused my attention on any outer layers of “I” from that one, it no longer mattered because they were now integrated with Awareness.

    If I think of all the infinite layers of “I” like the petals of a lotus flower, then if I am able to easily open the petals somewhere in the middle of the flower, then I don’t have to worry about focusing on any of the outside petals because they would have also had to yield to this same opening at the same time.

    I hope that makes sense.

    What a neat process!

    • Connirae

      July 23, 2014

      Yes to all of this. You don’t have to have an “ultimate” outermost layer. It can be the first layer you come to that is ready and welcomes the invitation to integrate. I like your lotus petal image for the layers, too.:) Thanks, Samantha.
      And it can be useful for people to know that they don’t have to keep finding another perspective. That it is possible to experience the perceiving of something as if it is from everywhere at once. This is the relaxed perceiving that martial arts teachers speak of.

  • Susan Seifert

    July 17, 2014

    Samantha –

    I came to much the same conclusion. There are multiple ‘i’s, each associated with its own objects (sensations). It doesn’t seem to matter so much which ‘i’ I start the process with, it all dissolves in the end. It’s fun to locate them, tho.

  • Danny Cohen

    July 17, 2015

    Hi Connirae and friends,
    I’m wondering if you ever encounter difficulty in grounding/associating a person into the experience of awareness? if ever people don’t have any idea what you’re talking about or can’t get into fully enough to allow the later parts of the process that depend on it? and if so, how you work with that?


    • Connirae

      July 26, 2015

      Danny, I can’t recall having difficulty with that. The key is that we’re not “associating someone into” it. We’re just inviting the person to notice the ongoing experience of awareness that we each have, in each moment. It’s readily available if we check. The group guide earlier in this video series is an example of guiding attention so that we can easily experience Awareness. If you’d like another example, the individual client session shows me guiding one person in experiencing it. (You can find the individual client session from The experience of Awareness doesn’t need to be “fully developed”. It just needs to be whatever it is naturally, when we check and register that we have the capacity to notice experience in our bodies, as well as in and throughout the space around us.

  • Barbara Sweet-Hansen

    December 22, 2016

    Is it keen to say that what we do is integrate the little i’s to a “real” or total, whole, one I. So I am not “getting rid of the ego” I am becoming more aware of the total I. Is this true?

    • Connirae

      December 22, 2016

      That’s right, Barbara. You are definitely not “getting rid of the ego” when you do this work. Nothing is lost. Instead what is happening is that a contraction of conscious is “relaxing” and it becomes easier/possible to experience ourselves again as the “whole” that we are. This process deepens the more you do the basic process. It also deepens as you learn and use the advanced formats.These will also add. But there is no rush. It is a good thing to savor the process, each step of the way.:)

  • Barbara Sweet-Hansen

    December 22, 2016

    Thanks so much… Good. This works.. My experience up to now, with the program is awesome.

The Wholeness Process / Unit B / Video 7 – The Steps in Brief