Video 23 –
Is this the only thing
you do now?

In this segment...

Connirae shares which methods she finds most useful with clients.

Other Topics...

  • Recommendations in deciding when to use this with clients.
  • Begin by using with yourself.

Additional Thoughts… (not in the video)

This method integrates everything. Protective layers (and by this I mean our coping mechanisms) gradually dissolve and melt away. As this happens we need to also notice and integrate the so-called negative states that these layers were protecting us from.

We then understand experientially that we didn’t need protection. We thought we needed protection because we didn't recognize that the original feeling we thought we needed to avoid wasn’t actually a problem. Once we get that, we don’t need to avoid anything. Then we are free.

Q: Can you integrate even intense negative emotions with this method?

A: There is great value in directly integrating intense so-called “negative” emotions in the direct way of this method. However, before working with intense negative emotions, it is important for you to first first gain experience with the method.

Begin by using it with things that are less intense — even neutral. This way you will understand how the sequence flows, and you will be able to go through the process more easily and smoothly when working with something stronger. Even then, if you are working with something really strong (such as response to abuse), we advise going through the process with a coach or guide who is trained in this method.

Note about emotions: Just reliving the negative emotion in the same old way is not helpful. Doing this just strengthens an unpleasant emotional habit.

What is necessary for change/transformation of the emotion, is experiencing it as Awareness (without a contracted 'i'), and experiencing it as sensation (rather than in terms of the meanings and interpretations we often have for our emotions.)

The Wholeness Process guides you in doing these things. This is what allows our old emotional reaction patterns to melt and dissolve. They no longer have any power over us. This is ultimately what we want to have happen.

When someone is experienced with the method, doing this (experiencing the sensation of the emotion as Awareness), can feel in one sense really good, even as it is happening. The experiencing of the sensation of the negative emotion if felt to be "just aliveness" rather than having a "good" or "bad" label on it.



  • Jan Heinrich

    March 8, 2014

    This is Wal, Jan’s husband. It was at about this video that Jan went to the kitchen to make a cup of tea, leaving me in front of the this (completed) video awaiting her return. Suddenly I felt as if I were “pulled in” to a pleasant but unfamiliar state. I don’t know how to describe it, I have received hundreds of Core Transformation sessions so I am familiar with profound states, but this was different. Nothing much seemed to matter, I no longer felt the need to speak, and when Jan returned with her cup of tea and spoke to me, neither did I feel the need to speak to her, nor could I speak, the mouth wouldn’t open, although there were words there to be spoken if they could have been spoken. Noticing her concern, I decided I needed to find a way to speak to her to let her know I was OK. Because I felt “pulled in” I sort of looked for something to “hang on to” to “pull myself out”, but there was nothing. After a few minutes of willing it and trying to attach myself to something “solid” (gee, it’s hard to find words to describe it), I was able to mumble a few words to let Jan know I was OK and that we should continue with the course. Gradually, after a few more of these videos, I returned to normal but I was left with an unusual feeling of joyfulness for the rest of the evening. That was a few days ago and I want to experience it again but, despite several attempts, I haven’t been able repeat the experience.

    Connirae, have you had these sorts of experiences? If so, are you able to give me a method of repeating it please?

    • Connirae

      April 5, 2014

      Thank you Wal for sharing your experience! Quite lovely.:) Yes, I have had these sorts of experiences. Although most of the time my experience with the process is more ordinary. And I understand the desire to repeat the more exotic versions–to experience it “again”. And this is an interesting thing. Because as soon as we try to reexperience this kind of state, we are actually adding a subtle layer of coercion or force. So, you probably already guessed it, the way to not fight with this, but rather lovingly include all of this, is to notice the one who wants to have this experience again. Where is this one located? Where is the one with expectations that we are then attempting to match? As we integrate this also, we experience an increasingly “whole” sense of awareness/consciousness. There is a joyous inclusion of the wanting things different than they are.
      As we do this, increasingly we naturally enjoy awareness/consciousness in whatever way it is in the moment, including whatever constricted ‘i’s there may be. The joy comes from the fresh experiencing of it however it is. And it’s never exactly the same way twice. (There is a quote from Heraclitis about how one can never step into the same river twice.) And it is this readiness to experience however it emerges in this moment that is so freeing and so inherently loving/joyous. Consciousness doesn’t have to appear for us in any particular way.

  • Karen Haider

    March 9, 2014

    Your experience reminded me of this quote:

    “When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.”-Rumi

  • Connirae

    March 12, 2014

    Lovely quote, Karen. 🙂

  • Jan Heinrich

    March 17, 2014

    This is Wal again. I have done dozens of these wholeness processes since that experience on March 8. None had that effect until last night when it happened again. I can’t see any relationship between the particular wholeness process I did or what I did it on, on the one hand, and the effect it had on me, on the other.

    Thanks, Karen and Connirae, for your comments.

The Wholeness Process / Unit F / Video 23 – Is this the only thing you do now?