Video 24 –
Trouble Finding Awareness
In this segment...
When it’s hard to find the ‘I’ — noticing the one who’s looking.
What is Awareness? Awareness is simply the capacity to experience. If we are expecting a dramatic “bells and whistles” kind of experience, we may think we are missing it. It’s not dramatic, yet it is extra-ordinary.
The awareness, the capacity to notice, is like a mirror which can reflect anything, “positive” or “negative” and neither damages the mirror. The mirror remains the same no matter what experiences might have been reflected in it.
Also discussed: Integrating the ‘me’, integrating personas.
Additional Thoughts: (Not in this training segment, but related.)
The capacity to notice is actually full presence. It’s not an empty, “lacking” kind of neutralness. It doesn’t exclude any aspect of our aliveness. When all the small contracted ‘I’s have been released and relaxed as awareness, and when anything we have held as separate from ourself is also included, we experience ourselves as a full presence.
There are so many ways we learn to hold things as separate from ourselves, and each one reduces our own aliveness. If we are holding an idea in our mind of what awareness “should be like," we are likely to be disappointed. It’s not any idea - it is just presence itself. When this happens we need to notice our expectation and include the ‘I’ who expects something. We notice where it is located and invite it to also dissolve/melt.